Sitting here enjoying the sunshine and the view of the mountains in New Zealand as the calendar is about to flip to February, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that the last time I worked on revisions to the revised second edition of “Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders” was at the airport in Minnesota on Dec 4th as we began our journey to New Zealand. 

So much for being tucked away in a remote corner of the earth to get the thing done…

The book is pretty close to being finished, and I can probably complete the revisions this evening. There is only one more new story to finish writing, the rest are done and edited. Then the logistical parts of setting it up for ‘Print on Demand’ on Amazon will get handled. I know that what I need will show up exactly when I need it. 

Do I feel guilty? Hum, it’s not actually guilt, rather a bit of disappointment mixed with glee that I took so much time to simply BE is what is showing up! And that is exciting! Not sure why it has taken me all these adult years to get back to my playful nature that I had as a child. Guess I had something to prove. Makes me think of the family caregivers who tell me they feel guilt for not getting things done while being caregivers. 

Things happen at a much slower pace in New Zealand…well that is unless we are talking about a volcano erupting (that happens far too fast I found out). It’s been a bit like stepping into another world down here where they seem to really get what matters. They are kind (mostly) to one another, to outsiders, to the earth and themselves. Some things don’t get done…like window screens to keep the flies out. It appears that is rather an American thing to not be okay with bugs in the house. 

Having had a break from a very gray and snowy winter in Minnesota (the cloudiest on record for January), and from the pace of work I was keeping has been so

For now, how about this oxygen giving experience I gave myself?

good for my soul. That along with loads of fun outdoor activities with people I care about, in the sunshine has been rejuvenating. My body is stronger and I can breathe better. 

Likely you know self-care is something I promote regularly. While I try to walk the talk, this feels like taking self-care to the next level. Like really making it the top priority. And it turns out it’s fun! And stuff still gets done…well maybe books get revised at a slower pace, but they get done eventually. 

Expectations of ourselves can really get in the way of self-care and being kind to ourselves. It’s funny to look at where those expectations came from and really explore what we truly believe about our expectations of ourselves. 

Looking at the options laid out in black and white makes it abundantly clear to me that I’ve spent my time here well:

  • Finish second edition of “Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders”


  • Resting and rejuvenating
  • Having fun with people I care about and nurturing relationships
  • Moving my body in many joyful ways and getting stronger
  • Slowing down and gaining clarity on what really matters

Seeing a different way of living in a place that is so gorgeous that I can hardly believe my eyes, has opened my eyes. I’m grateful for my eyes, even though things are often blurry, I can still see this magical place and all of the surprises it holds. 

We all have expectations that can trip us up. If you’re ready to talk about shifting your perspective on some expectations, ring me up as the dear Kiwis say and we’ll have a chat.