Ola, I’m sending you good thoughts from Portugal. Thank you for your kind concern and good thoughts as I recovered from Covid – 2nd time this year. I’m really done with this thing. My lungs took a hit but they’re slowly coming back and thankfully my brain is finally back ONLINE! Phew. I’m now that EXTRA cautious person who is masking all the time around others. So if you see me masking, that is why. Not doing that again. It was a rough 10 days.
This was a perfect topic from intern Anna this week while I’m resting and getting fully back to full strength like a hockey team. I hope that you will find some of her tips useful for both your loved one in recovery and for yourself as you provide much needed support. Remember, your oxygen mask needs to be put on first and your CUP needs to be full. 🙂
Take good care and please vote if you have not ~ Becky
Why Asking for Help Can Be a Heroic Act – by, Intern Anna
Asking for help can be one of the most difficult things about recovery. It isn’t even just confined to recovery, but is a skill we need to have for the rest of our lives. We need to know when our body has had enough and we need someone else to step in.
One of my favorite metaphors for self care is represented by a cup of water. Each of us starts with a full cup of water. Each time we give something to others, our cup empties a little. This represents how you are spending energy on those people.
At the end of the day, we don’t want our cup to be depleted. The water could be all gone from overexertion or too many obligations. Balancing our time takes practice. I think getting help from others to see how they keep their cup full is a great tip. Your support team is there to help you get back on your feet after having an empty cup.
I think there is this weird stigma about asking for help. I know in the past I have felt like a burden or a bother when I ask people for help. In reality though, your support system is there to help you succeed and wants to be able to aid you in any way possible.
Tips to aid in asking for help:
- If you are someone who rarely asks for help, it can feel weird or uncomfortable the first time you do it. This means that practice can help a lot. All you need to make sure is that you trust and feel comfortable with the person you are asking.
- In my experience, I would wait to ask for help until my life was chaotic. It usually ended in an emergency situation and that was not ideal. So a tip for you may be to reach out long before you reach your breaking point. Your level can just be a bit off and you can still ask for help. You don’t need to wait until you deem it necessary.
- We tend to be too hard on ourselves about asking for help. Help calm yourselves afterwards with a mindfulness or self care activity.
- Since it can be so hard to ask for help, it can be helpful to have a few ideas of what you are asking for before asking. I know that always makes me feel more prepared and confident. It makes a daunting task just a little bit easier.
- Take advantage of the services that Becky provides such as HUG Kits or the Recovery Roadmap webinar series to help you understand more about how to help your loved one in recovery.
Another final thing I want to say is that your support system is there for a reason. They can help you by providing an outsider’s view. I know it can be difficult to remember that at times. Asking for help can make a foundation for the rest of your goals to build upon. All you have to do is take the first step. ~ Intern Anna for…