Transitions can be tricky! As I’m transitioning to a new place to stay in Southern, California after 3 months in Europe I’m reminded of the tools I often work with clients to practice when a loved one is in yet another transition.
Often the hardest one is stepping down from a higher level of care to a lower level of care. Regardless of what the transition may be, it can be scary and hard to support a loved one.
Two things that on the surface seem really basic, can really help with transitions if we keep them top of mind.
- Be open.
- Be curious.
Seems basic right? Not so much when our loved one is having a hard time with stepping into something new or away from something familiar.
To be open we can be aware of not having expectations of how it’s “supposed” to be or how we would like things to go. It also entails asking ourselves some big questions such as; 1. What’s my role? 2. How can I support without judging? 3. What do I need to let go of to be open to listening and not giving advice?
And being curious also takes letting go of wanting things to be a certain way. This doesn’t mean we must stop hoping for a joyful, fulfilling life for our person. It just means taking our own expectations out of the equation. When we have a perspective of being loving and curious, then our person is able to do the exploring that will help them find their ‘next’ in this big change.
What other things have helped you to support someone going through big changes?
If you need some support as a caregiver with checking in on someone with an eating disorder, reach out. I’ve trained others to do the work I do so even more families can get the help, hope and tools needed. And now that I’m back in the states, I’m also taking new clients again.
I’ll be at the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP) conference the week of February 13th so my weekly group support will need to be shifted to 2 hours later on Wednesday February 15th as I’m hosting a gathering at my home. Please let me know if you’ll be here in the desert and I’ll send you an invite. And parents in my weekly group call, please mark your calendars for two hours later on Feb 15th. I’ll send a reminder for that.
