Even with a pretty conscious self grounding practice, it’s been a challenge to say the least to not be on an emotional rollercoaster this year. Right? We are each struggling in our own ways.
For those who follow my work you know I’m constantly beating the drum of self care. And walking the talk of having a consistent self care practice keeps me as grounded as possible and it feels ethical to me to be doing that which I am promoting.
Life this year has not been easy for anyone, and for many it’s been intolerable. Huge shout out to heroes in health care who are so very tired and still out there trying to save lives. Please wear a mask, even if you feel it’s an infringement on your personal rights…please do it for your friends who are nurses, doctors, hospital janitors.
Our self care practices can feel sufficient when things are going well or just moderately challenging. It’s when either one thing, like a loved one getting sick or dying happens or many smaller things collide that we need to ramp up the self care plan.
Unfortunately, when we are in that place of truly struggling we can, as poet p. Bodi says, “…be our own worst enemy.” 
We can be fortunate to still have; income, food, shelter, our health, healthy family and still have moments of struggling. There is so much chaos happening in the world it can truly feel like a rollercoaster ride.
Friday I was on cloud 9, my new business partners and I had just finished our Recovery Roadmaps live three part webinar series and I celebrated with a lovely fall bike ride with my honey.
And Saturday I was in the dumps. And couldn’t figure out why. As I sat with my feelings and just allowed what was, I noticed I was trying to have compassion for myself for being out of sorts. After months of nose to the grindstone with launching two big projects, the letdown was pretty suffocating. I’ve been aware that this busyness has been serving as a distraction. 😉 And now with those distractions gone, I had to face that we are indeed still in the pandemic, I’m still just hanging out in the backyard…the grocery store is still a scary place with maskless people putting our health in jeopardy. Just going to the store to get some ice cream for my big exciting Saturday night was upsetting confronting a maskless woman who claimed to have health issues. I have asthma and had two masks on and could breathe just fine.
We all are missing normalcy, safety, our friends, our families. And the little things can be upsetting. When I couldn’t turn on a lamp because a new automatic switch had been added to it, unbeknownst to me, it pissed me off. I just want to be able to know that I can still turn on a lamp when I want to, to be able to count on THAT simple thing being the same and reliable.
Nothing feels reliable or consistent. It all feels upside down. I felt upside down. And, sometimes things have to turn upside down for us to really be able to see what right side up looks like. We are all hanging upside down in some horror movie we didn’t ask to be in and we are trying to find the ground.
Whether or not you’re trying to save a loved one’s life from an eating disorder it’s more important than ever to have clarity on what grounds you, what lifts you up, what helps you cope and what you can put into place when you’re feeling lost, shame-filled, scared, lonely, hopeless or helpless.
So which of my favorite tools did I use yesterday you may be wondering?
- Nature (watering flower pots and cleaning up the mess from the squirrels who dug in them & sitting on the bench in the sun behind my garage)
- Movement – (Walking around my sunny back yard)
- Completing a task (repairing a fence that a deer ate through)
- Listening to podcasts on topics I enjoy while hanging out in my backyard
- Seeing what my pals are doing on social media
- Talking with a friend and celebrating her new puppy with her
- Watching a funny movie and videos
- Eating ice cream
- Playing cards with my honey
- Breathing
- Meditating
- Looking at the gorgeous fall colors as I drove to the store and back
- Opening the windows in my car and releasing my anger about the maskless people in the store
- Being grateful for my healthy body and eyes that can see the gorgeous fall colors
- Appreciating the sunlight and bright blue sky
- Staying in my PJ’s as long as I wanted and getting back into them early
- Helping my friend in Denmark brainstorm about her business, which is going to be amazing by the way
That is LOT I know…wow 17! And, this is what it takes some times.
Being so very conscious about knowing what tools work for ourselves and intentionally using them. This is the self compassion, love and grace that I believe p.bodi is speaking of in their poem. How will you give yourself compassion, love and grace today? This week? The rest of this wild year? If you’re looking for some support, feel free to check out all the options for services and support on my website or call to set up a free consultation.
You are worthy of self compassion, love and grace.
Thank you for reading!
